English Salesman

Peer Blog Responce

Brianna,

First, let me say that it is disappointing that your blog will be taken down.  I can see and feel the effort that goes into your writing and it should be recognized.  You have a clear writing style that is easy to read. You present yourself as enthusiastic, fair minded and very intelligent through your writing. I saw a marked difference between your reading responses and the papers. The shorter reading responses were not as polished as the longer papers and go to prove that good writing occurs in the revision process. The two papers that were on your blog not only display the amount of work that you did, but also show how good you are at developing your ideas.  Your final paper was fascinating and shows that you do not mind taking risks with your writing.  As your work progressed through the semester, the clarity of your writing improved. Although I could hear your “voice” from the start of your blog, by the end of it I felt that you had embraced that “voice.” Thank you for sharing. Good Luck.

Chelsea,

First, and obviously, you are missing some content.  I know why and it’s a bit of a shame. I would have liked to have some more of your work to read.  I can see a good bit of improvement in your writing that is present. In your early pieces your phrasing was a bit awkward. By the time you wrote the final piece, it was much better. Your writing also improved as you put more time into it. The longer papers are better than the reading response. You also have taken good advantage of the opportunity to revise.  I don’t want to be like the teacher who ignored the content of the paper because it was too inflammatory and so graded only on the mechanics. So, I will take this opportunity to commend you on the bravery it took to address the topic you brought up in your memoir. Good for you. I’m sure it was hard to do. From what I read in your blog, I think if you continue to work as hard as you have during this class, when the time comes, you will be more than ready to teach High School English.  Good luck to you and thank you for sharing.

Noel,

I am generally impressed with your blog. I tackled your reading responses first. They seemed a bit underdeveloped and felt like you could have put more effort into them. Then I read your papers. The difference between them and the reading responses was like the difference between night and day. Your papers present a very intelligent and mature writing style. At times that makes your papers sound a bit formal. If that’s you intent, that is great, because it doesn’t take away from the content of the papers. Not only do you have an intelligent style, but your use of extended metaphor and humor makes your writing entertaining. As the semester progressed, I saw that your papers also progressed. Your later papers became more fully developed. This is some great work. I think you’ve found your “natural position” in deciding to become an English teacher. Good Luck. Thanks for sharing.

Eric 

At the time I am writing this there are no reading responses posted to your blog. I found your papers very interesting and was pleased to follow your progression through the semester.  You have a smart and technical style to your writing. That style needs the polishing that you bring to it through your revisions. Your final drafts were very good.  As the semester progressed I also noticed that your papers became more fully developed and your voice became fully articulated. I saw in your final paper, not only the polished intelligent style of your first two papers, but also that it was fully developed and better organized than your first two papers. I believe your final paper is your best. Bravo.  Good luck. Thanks for sharing.